Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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