i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
that is very illegal...i love you.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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