Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize