hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
