): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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