we have officially lost it.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
