hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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