it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
