He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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