idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
