We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
