she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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