that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
