the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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