is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize