I'd wear matching sweaters with you
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
