she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Randomize
