College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize