I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize