Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
