I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize