my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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