My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
