Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
