fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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