i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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