That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
