i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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