i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
