I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
