That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Randomize