i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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