he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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