he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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