dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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