Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
