is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
