i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Randomize
