guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Randomize
