so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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