oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
