Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You have to summon your inner elephant
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
why is half of my head shaved?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
