Best friends brother. Beat that.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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