Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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