I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
