I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
