Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
