did you get engaged???
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
