Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
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