Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
