She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
