can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
