apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
