she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Randomize
