why didn't you poke me back
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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