I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
