I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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