you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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