cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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