he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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