you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
