Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
