under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
