Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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