I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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