Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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