another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
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I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
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He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize