Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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